What I learned today:  It's a bad idea to use carnivore feces as manure because, unlike grass-eating herbivores like cows and horses, carnivores have a few extra enzymes in their digestive systems that could cause serious harm to someone who decides to utilize their dog's crap to help their lawn grow grass. 

An interesting question was posed:  What about vegetarians?  Can we use their feces to fertilize our lawns and gardens? 

The general consensus:  Probably not because their bodies still have the mechanisms to digest meat, making them no different from carnivores. 

I was traveling with a co-worker a few weeks ago, and he said he likes to fill up his gas tank at Exxon gas stations because it seems to last longer.  In my 26.33 years on this planet, I don't think I've ever heard a stupider thing babbled from the mouth of a fully grown, college-educated bi-ped. 

However, after doing a very small amount of research, I've determined that it could possibly be argued that different brands of gasoline yield different values of gas mileage.  It's a widely known fact (though not known by me until 7 minutes ago) that oil companies each add their own special concoction to the gasoline they sell to produce a varying array of cleaning functionality and gas mileage improvements.  One can conclude that with the proper amount of controlled testing, a definitive set of results can be obtained to link a certain oil company's gasoline with increased gas mileage in a certain vehicle under certain driving conditions. 

However, it's safe to assume no amount of controlled testing was done in my co-worker's case, which means he probably got 9 mpg in his stupid pickup truck (misplaced anger, anyone?) when he filled up at the Citgo and drove to and from work for a week, but got 11 mpg when he filled up at the Exxon and drove on the highway for 300 miles.  Not to mention the fact that there's no way car companies would design engines to effectively utilize one company's gasoline additives over another, which means that different engines will work better with different additives, which means independent studies would need to be conducted that measured the effects of each brand of gasoline in conjunction with each brand of engine (and each type of driving, i.e. stop and go, fast and steady, etc.), which just further cements my existing practice of just buying whatever's cheapest and closest. 

Sometimes when I'm driving I see another driver's stupid mistake before it happens.  Like pulling out in front of someone without stopping at a stop sign, or cutting someone off while merging.  The weird thing is that I'm often completely willing to get in a car accident just so I can afterwards get out of my car and point my finger in the other driver's face and sternly but calmly say, "That was totally your fault, and here's why."  I'm fully convinced that I'm invincible and that modern cars have enough safety features to protect me from harm if I get in an accident.  But the reality is that, even if I'm only going 30mph, I'm still driving a 2000-lb chunk of metal and plastic that fully has the potential to kill and to crumble.  Windshields break, door panels fold inwards, and foreheads hit steering wheels.  Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't have a car for a while because it would need to get fixed.  All in all, this is one of my stupider beliefs, and one I'm glad I haven't put into use. 

One thing I've noticed while supporting my clearance rack habit is that it's rare to find normal-sized clothes there (i.e. medium).  All I find are XL and XXL, which sort of makes sense since there are statistically less large people than non-large people.  My advice to large people would be to check the clearance rack.  That's where your stuff is.  And I mean no offense to either large people or people who buy things off clearance racks. 

Let's say you're at a wedding rehearsal dinner in an Irish-type pub, sitting at a single table with about 30 people, being served by a single waiter.  Oh, and some people ordered appetizers while others ordered salads, while still others ordered nothing besides the main meal.  Oh, and there are at least two children running around.  Oh, and it's around 8:30pm on a Wednesday. 

Got all that?  Ok.  Now don't get angry when the waiter brings your meal and it has fries when you specifically asked for no fries.  Just take the fries.  Move on. 

I find difficult diners to be annoying.  On the one hand, I'm all about getting what I want, so I understand the idea.  You're paying for the food, so you should get what you want, how you want it.  Fair enough.  But on the other hand, you need to know your limits.  When your waiter is running around like a headless chicken, take a hint.  When you're eating bar food, don't have high expectations.  The thing is, I'm married to a difficult diner.  Everything must be cheese-free.  The chicken must be grilled, not fried.  And the default salad dressing?  It must be something other than default.  But most times, we're a small party, we don't cause much other trouble, and we tip well, so the difficult diner can get her wish.  But sending your food back at a pub serving a 30-person party?  You're asking for it. 

The following words do not contain the letter "R", contrary to popular usage: 

• Oil
• Wash
• Alpha/delta (no offense, Asians)

I'm taking a class where the professor mentions Euler angles on a regular basis.  I've heard it pronounced "oiler" and "yooler" but haven't heard a definitive answer as to which is correct.  But one thing I know for sure is that "erler", which is how the professor says it, is 100% wrong. 

Sometimes work sucks.  And I'm young; I haven't been working for long.  The reason it sucks is because I have to deal with people I don't like (sometimes), and I have to work on projects that don't interest me (sometimes).  It's hard to find the motivation to do something when you're gaining no satisfaction or enjoyment from that something.  So the solution is this:  Figure out what brings you satisfaction, and do that.  Most times, it can be done without quitting jobs or changing scenery.  Sometimes it's as simple as Dunkin Donuts coffee in the morning.  Or completing a personal project, like reading a book or designing a website.  Whatever it is, do the thing that brings satisfaction, get some wins together, and going to work won't be so bad. 

I was at a rehearsal dinner for a wedding this past week, and during the meal the pastor had a beer or two.  In the past, I would've raised major objections to this behavior, partly because Christians + alcohol = gray area, but also because my beliefs tell me that pastors + alcohol = very bad.  I still believe that pastors should be careful about how much they drink and who they drink around.  But at the same time, I see the behavior as completely harmless.  My argument used to be that pastors need to set a good example, and it's not that no one should ever drink alcohol, it's that if people see a pastor drink, they feel like their actions are justified.  If he's doing it, I can do it.  But the more I think about that, the less I agree with it.  People will drink no matter who or what gives them justification.  People don't need a reason to drink.  So in reality, seeing a pastor have a beer or two brings him down to the level of the common person.  Everyone looks at a pastor and sees this unapproachably perfect person with a direct line to God.  Seeing him drink a beer makes him completely human, which he was in the first place. 

I heard on the news last week that a small tornado passed through a town in the midwest.  Perhaps I'm naive, but is there such a thing as a "small" tornado?  Isn't a tornado a tornado?  A destructive, swirling vortex of wind and debris can't really be described as "small". 

Tomorrow (i.e. Friday), I'm going to a wedding.  It's a morning wedding, a.k.a. an all-day wedding.  So yes, it's an all-day wedding on a Friday.  This is possibly the most selfish wedding ever.  "We're gonna need you to go ahead and take a day off work so you can watch us get married, stuff cake in each other's facial orifices, and drink lots of liquor.  Yeah, thanks."  It's one thing if you have a destination wedding and you expect people to decline the invitation because they don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on a faux vacation that's centered around people other than themselves.  But it's another thing to have a local wedding and expect everyone to use up some of their precious vacation time.  Yes, I could've declined, but that would've looked selfish.  Ironic.